I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
