would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
