You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
