dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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