You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
