i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
