Kiss
Puke
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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