I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
