i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize