yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
