when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
