i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
