someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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