She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
