I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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