just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
