His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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