ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
