I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
