she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the gays at disneyland are vicious
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
