Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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