I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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