hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize