Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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