Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
