im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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