I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He passed out mid-signature
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bring me that man meat
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
