somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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