The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
