eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
