My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
