Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize