Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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