Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
