WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
