Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize