The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
