Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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