I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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