Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
