you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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