Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize