and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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