One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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