Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize