Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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