I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize