I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize