Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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