I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
