he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
