Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
