The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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