I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
