1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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