How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
