Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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