yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
