A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
