He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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